Ramblings of a Mom

Blog Prompt 11/6: In your area/family, how do children address adults? What manners do you stress in your family and which do you let slide? (This applies to adults, too, not just children).

When I was growing up, it was all "Mr(s). Lastname", and for that time that was the appropriate thing. As I grew up, "Mr/Miss Firstname" started to become popular in my area (I grew up in Anchorage, Alaska) and that is how my younger siblings addressed adults.

As time has gone by, the formality of Mr/Mrs/Miss seems to have gone the way of the stonewashed jeans and shoulder pads we used to wear in the 80's.

My teens address adults, for the most part, by their first names. Although there are some adults who have been introduced and always referred to by "Mr(s). Lastname", so that's how they address those adults.

My preschooler refers to most adults as "Miss/Mr Firstname."

Now, I don't know how other adults feel about this whole thing, but it just makes me feel so old when my kids friends call me "Mrs .Colbert", so I am much happier with "Miss Melanie" from the preschoolers and just plain "Melanie" from the teens.

But, who knows, trends come and go, so we may see the days of minors addressing adults with more respect come back again - I just hope that shoulder pads are gone for good, LOL!

Now, manners,
* One of my biggest pet peeves is children who interrupt adults just to show mom that they can twist their fingers together, or some other nonsense. Now, I know that whatever that child has to say is terribly important to them, but the interruption makes it painfully clear that their parents, like so many other now a days, hasn't bothered to teach their children basic manners. This is one thing that I am trying very hard to make sure my kids wait their turn to speak. They know that if I am on the phone or talking to someone in person (this doesn't necessarily mean just conversations with adults), that anything they have to say can wait (except emergencies of course) Does this mean that they always wait? They are children, so no. The 5 year old is still learning, but the teens do wait *MOST* of the time.
* Bad table manners are right up there with interruptions, I just cringe when I am around someone who eats with their mouth open, slurps, smacks, talks with food in their mouth. But since I still haven't been able to teach my husband the importance of good table manners it is hard to teach the kids. For the most part they are so much better than their dad, so I guess sometimes modeling good behavior in the face of bad does work.
* Saying please, thank you, may I, I'm sorry. Funny thing is, my preschooler has these down (hmmm, was that my influence or Dora the Explorer, LOL), but my teens have been slipping.
* Thank you notes - WOW, when I was a kid they were written the DAY you received a gift. Now I'm lucky if I even get an email or phone call to let me know that the gift arrived in one piece. In one case I had to contact a family member of a couple I had sent a wedding gift to and see if they had even received it. I finally received a note almost a year after the wedding. Worse yet, the busier I get, the more I let this slip myself. My children are supposed to write notes or at least write a personal note in a card from the family, but sometimes those cards don't make it out until a month or so after the gift was received. It didn't occur to me how awful I had gotten at this until my mom called almost a month after my preschoolers recent birthday and asked if we had gotten the card she sent with money in it. She was worried because it was cash and since I was still working on the TY cards I should have called her right away to let her know that the card had arrived. What a bad influence am I?

(*watch out - rambling woman about to get on her soap box*)
I hope that I have taught my children the importance of manners and respect - as I think that one of the biggest problems that our society faces is disrespectful teens and young adults. I have watched two of our children grow up and tried to instill these things in them, but watch as so many other parents don't care enough for their children to make sure they know right from wrong. And now I can only hope that I am being a proper teacher to the three left at home. Anyway, that's enough .... for now!